This time of year some of the worst people come out of the woodwork, armed and ready to annoy the rest of us for 40 days. Please welcome, the Lent People.
Suddenly, co-workers, and friends you’ve had for years, who haven’t attended mass since their confirmation, are now debating what to to “give up” for their Lord And Savior.
We all know that the Catholic faith is famous for it’s huddled masses of half-assed followers, but Lent really helps showcase the worst of them.
Worse than the half-assed Catholics, are the Lent People who are not at all Catholic, or even Christian…they just “really enjoy the challenge”. Right. Because giving up Diet Coke, or your addiction to reality TV for 40 days clearly runs par with the crucifixion of Jesus Christ himself.
I recently ran into a co-worker who told me that she was giving up IKEA for Lent. IKEA. I then verified with her that she is still an Atheist.
"Well, yeah, but I need to cut back on my spending, so what better time?"
I was raised in a strict Presbyterian household. I no longer consider myself anything close the faith I was raised in, but I still respect the conviction to the faith, and the religion, and the practices within it all.
Giving up fast food for Jesus is missing the point.
Also,maybe you should just not eat the shit that you’re so determined to forfeit for the sake of “religion”. Or maybe you could consider a cleanse? Or maybe just take a moment and think about the implications of your own personal plight.
What if I decided to fast for Ramadan simply because I wanted to drop a few pounds? Wouldn’t that seem utterly asinine, let alone disrespectful?
I’m not a spiritual person these days, and I’m most certainly not a “religious” person at all. But I do see the stupid selfishness that ironically comes as a result of something that is supposed to be a very selfless act.
Lastly, Lent is a choice. You CHOOSE to commit to it. So choose your choice and just shut up about it. I don’t care how much you miss peanut butter, or coffee, or selfies, or facebook, or whatever completely unnecessary bullshit you decided to “give up”. Giving up something for Lent and not telling a damn soul…now that would be admirable.
Lent is not a condition that you must endure. You don’t have an allergy. You aren’t under contract. So either quit you feeble attempt at conviction, or just shut the fuck up.
Imagine that Jesus Christ actually was the crucified Messiah, and then imagine that he IS siting up on some cloud looking down at you during your month of sacrifice in his name, imagine his disdain every time you whine about your tiny little sacrifice.
Don’t even get me started on the goddamn Easter Bunny.