That's not very ladylike.

Let it be known:

I don’t trust anyone who puts whip cream on French toast…especially if it’s coming out of a spray can.

This is me judging you.

food snob

no shame

#diners drive in’s and douche bags

“Chef” cook off shows NOT included in previous post ie. Top Chef and the like.

I’m talking about hating the FOOD and RESTAURANT shows…but having a love for the food biz so you sit through the dumbass host…you know the Guy Fieri bullshit.

food talk for life

that man is a flaming idiot

VERY IMPORTANT Food Show Talk.t

We’re watching Best Food Ever from TLC now on Netflix instant. This is the first time I have EVER (yes EVER) watched a show about food without hating the “host” or the “gimmick” or the processed food, or the “biggest possible edible (fill in the bullshit blank) in America”.

Voice-over by John Goodman.

Food made from scratch.

No obnoxious host you want to choke to death.

Just food that’s awesome and made by people who love what they do.

I’m not all geeked up…YOU ARE.

suck my balls Man vs Food

suck 'em

this is food

Solid sign I’ve worked in the restaurant world too long:

I mindlessly refer to the pantry in my house as “dry stock” on an almost daily basis.

restaurant talk

real life

Top 100 Reasons Why We Chose to Move to Portland Over ANY City in the USA:

1. IKEA
2. craft beer
3. lesbians all over the damn place

…and repeat.

*there are some other things like food, nature, sustainability, lack of fast food and chain restaurants, as well as all kinds of hippie shit, but mainly it was the lesbians and IKEA

hard facts

also it's the best city ever

did I mention the lesbians everywhere??

mecca

Tonight in Sexy Hot Lesbian Domestic Bliss Events:

For our Monday night date, my wife and I will venture once again to the lesbian mecca…that’s right, IKEA.

While there we will shop the closet organization materials in a somewhat ironic fashion, as we we carefully document the dumb conversations overheard around us.

ie. “how do I buy this?” and “don’t you just love this so very original wall art?”  

We will then attempt to NOT eat the ever tempting IKEA hot dog, as we scoff at the endless straight couples who are arguing over floor coverings and throw pillows.

Go ahead. Be jealous. We live in a city full of lesbians AND it has an IKEA. Just try and beat that. 

I’ll think of you while I cry during my hot dog consumption.

IKEA is for lovers

lesbian homeland

that's gay

no really

I’m so happy to have friends that have changed the lyrics from Marry The Night to Mary-Ellen The Night.

That’s love right there.

Honey, how was your day? Homophobic? Yeah, mine too.

Last night over dinner my wife and I did the usual “how was your day” talks. And for both of us there was a common trend of bigotry.

For Natalie it was having to take over a situation in which one of her reps was attempting to handle an angry customer who was disgusted with gay & lesbian “smut” that Netflix allows on their website. By the time Natalie took over the call, the woman was saying things like “my kids can see this filth” and “your company has a gay agenda and I won’t allow it in my home”. Natalie said she could literally hear the hate in this woman’s voice. This was BY FAR not the first time she has handled this exact complaint…and in fact she’s noticed that these calls are coming in with an even higher frequency.

For me, I’m facing accusations that I ONLY hire gay people, and then favor said gay people and ostracize anyone who is straight. This claim has absolutely no validity and is being waged as a knee jerk reaction by a person who feels under attack. Considering I have hired only 5 gay people (out of a staff of 23) and have then proceeded to fire 3 of those 5 people is obviously enough evidence of the validity of this claim…but it still hurts to have who am I as a person used against who I am as a person running a business. I hire PEOPLE. People who are qualified. Plain and simple. The end.

Thankfully my wife and I both work for companies that take great pride in their support of the gay and lesbian community. We both work for companies that shake their metaphorical heads at these people who attempt to use the notion of accepting gays and lesbians against us.

Working for companies where we feel free to be openly gay is great…but what’s even better is working for companies where we feel free to be outraged by people that act the way the people did to us on days like yesterday. Feeling the freedom to be hurt, or angry, or just feel pissed off is absolutely priceless.

I have not always had this feeling of safety at work. I have been asked to take of my wedding ring, refrain from mentioning my wife, refrain from mentioning my partner, refrain from answering “yes” when people ask if I’m married. I’ve been asked to “let people assume she’s your sister” when discussing being “allowed” to bring my wife to company Christmas parties and the like.

But not anymore. I chose this job, with THIS company so that those things would never happen to me again.

I know that things like this will always happen. It’s not the first time for either of this to have days like this, but just because I’m not surprised that it happens, doesn’t change the fact that it still makes me feel like something less than a human being.

I am not “a lifestyle”.

I do not have an “agenda”.

I am a person with a wife, and a home, and an ordinary life.

Just because I’d like to watch a movie with a love story I can ACTUALLY relate to, does not necessarily mean that I want to watch gay porn. And just because I hire gay people, does not mean that I ONLY hire gay people.

I just want to live my life and go through the day as a human being. No agenda, just me, my wife, and our simple little life. This is not too much to ask.

life as a gay

Anytime I watch Sandra Bullock in any movie I have the same repeating thought…

I bet she smells like soap.

not sure why

but i know it's a good impression to make

On being out at work.

I have not always had the feeling of acceptance at work that I have now.

I worked as an executive training and development director for a major restaurant chain in the Midwest, and it was by far the worst experience of my adult life.

I have been asked to take off my wedding ring, refrain from mentioning my wife, refrain from mentioning my partner, refrain from mentioning my girlfriend, refrain from answering “yes” when people ask if I’m married because “it’s not like it’s REAL”.

I’ve been asked to “just let people assume she’s your sister” when discussing being “allowed” to bring my wife to company Christmas parties and the like.

I was told not to tell people who work for me that I was attending gay pride because they’d “get the wrong idea”.

I’ve felt pressure to have my wife “femme up” for company gatherings so that we could avoid so many stares and side eyes. And then I’ve immediately felt the horrible shame of expecting her to change who she is just so I can blend in with the rest of the corporate drones.

I have felt trapped, and stifled, and hidden away. I’ve felt like the company gay joke. I’ve felt like less than a person because of who I am and more importantly because I refuse to hide it.

And for the record, I never once took off my wedding ring. I never stopped mentioning my wife, and not once did I leave her behind like something I’m ashamed of.

When I came out of the closet I lost my entire family. Over the years I’ve been fired twice for my “alternative lifestyle”, which is absolutely legal under federal law.

I already lost my parents, my brother, my nephews, my grandmother and of course many others after telling them who I am. Losing a few jobs along the way as well only helped me get to the place I’m in now, living in a city that accepts me, and working for a company that encourages me to live my life without hiding.

life as a gay

always out

Non-Interesting Confessions Of The Day

I cannot seem to get on board with the following things/people, no matter how popular they become:

• Toms
• Elvis Costello
• microwave ovens
• store-bought pasta sauce
• gravy from a jar
• beets
• Anderson Cooper as a talk show host

working on Saturday makes for boring blogging