January 2012
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"Sperm Donor Russian Roulette."
These are words that repeatedly come out of the mouth of one of my co-workers (who is in fact a grown woman, older than me, ans honestly sweet as can be).
She suggests that my wife and I have a “big party” in which we invite all the men in our life over, align some specimen cups in various rooms, and let them donate anonymously.
Then they leave, and we “just pick one”.
...
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Anyone who thinks cats are smart has never met...
He just tried to eat a roll of toilet paper, and he repeatedly bites at a nail sticking out of the wall that someone painted over approximately 20 years ago.
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Art Garfunkel :: to Paul Simon as Chef Boyardee ::...
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Fact: I will follow you on the sole basis of...
And cats.
Lest we forget the cats.
Ohhh, and hot sporty girls. I mean really. Who doesn’t love a female athlete?
To recap:
GOOD BEER
CATS
HOT SPORTY CHICKS
These are my priorities and I am not ashamed of them.
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Browsing Katharine McPhee photos while watching...
No?
Well, your point is invalid because
Happy birthday Mr.President is right.
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I REALLY do not understand why all of you liberals...
If you’re a conservative I understand the need. You must watch and determine which morally corrupt asshole will help put the most money in your pocket, protect your sanctified marriage, and prevent all those damn hippies from taking over with their “conspiracies” on things like global warming and the “myth” of all natural meat products, and this nonsense of women...
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Cynthia Nixon On Being Gay: 'For Me It's A Choice' →
In response to Cynthia Nixon’s statements:
I recognize that for some people it may actually be a choice, and I have complete respect for those individuals and their right to choose who they love. However, for the vast majority of gays it is in fact something that we are completely powerless against. I respect that if it is a choice, that it is a choice any person should be entitled to make...
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#oldschooltumblr
Last night we had to attempt to explain tumblarity to some tumblr friends who weren’t around back in the day.
All I know is that at one point Natalie used the word “algorithm” in a sentence, and we ended up talking about theMattsmith getting his wife pregnant simply to increase his tumblarity.
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Random side effect of growing up über Christian:
My wife and I both randomly get hymns, Jesus monster ballads, and vacation bible school songs stuck in our heads.
She’s currently singing Father Abraham in the shower complete with choreography.
If you know what I’m talking about we could have some loooooong talks.
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seejanerum asked: When I came out and described the fallout with my parents so many people were incredulous at my experience. Because of the progress made there are many who don't understand how shit can go down and it can be really difficult to share. I think you're providing a valuable resource for so many people who are just now coming out. We may be post stonewall, and certain things are better,...
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On the topic of finding a sperm donor with...
Me: Just promise me that if you suddenly come into some money that you'll give us $5,000 to buy all the sperm we could possibly need.
My Best Friend: No, you just promise me that you don't take sperm from anyone until you look at their feet.
Me: *laughing* Really though we have some possibilities...
MBF: Yeah, and have you seen their feet?? Have you?
Me: I will check out their feet next chance I get and send you a picture.
MBF: I'm serious. Some boy that you know is going to offer you sperm at some point...just ask to see his feet.
Me: Ok Kish.
MBF: And look at their toes! If they have one toe that's longer than the others, and it's not their big toe, just say 'NO THANK YOU', because that shit is hereditary. I mean it.
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I just had an amazing phone call with my mom.
She thanked me for never giving up.
She thanked me for always reaching out to her when she rarely reaches back.
She thanked me for always making the first move.
Nothing has changed, we’re still in the same place, but I want to remember how amazing this feels.
“Ask yourself what you are worried about if same-sex marriage is legalized....”
– Why A Heterosexual, Married, North Carolinian Father Of Three Cares About LGBT Equality (via raeraenjma)
This.
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File under: things you don't want the person...
“did you spill maple syrup on your shirt today?”
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Important post for those of you who think being a...
Oh wait…
Well, really…who am I kidding…it’s exactly like a slumber party, but instead of painting each others nails we have gay sex and watch our favorite TV series.
Also there’s giggling, jammies, and a whole lot of over the shirt boob grabbing.
And instead of talking about boys we talk about our cat…and instead of sneaking out, we got to bed at 9pm and...
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Things I have learned while snowed in:
-mimosas and The Price Is Right make me happier than I ever could have imagined
-all the commercials during the Price Is Right are for old people (and Hover Round’s will add years to your life)
-rabbit ears for our tv were the best $20 we could ever spend
-people don’t know how much things cost
-Drew Carey>Bob Barker (yeah I said it)
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WatchReal life examples of how we are not adults: every time we stay in a hotel Natalie will always jump on the bed…and I will always giggle.
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Six years in, and the more she snores the more I...
This is not normal…I know.
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Heidi Klum and Seal just woke up me with all their...
To clarify:
We have an interracial goose/duck couple that lives in our moorage. A dark colored little duck and a big white goose. Natalie named them (as she does all the local animals).
They never leave each other’s side. They swim around all day and Heidi Klum never shuts the hell up.
Once I asked Nat if she thought that they realized that they are entirely different breeds, and she...
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Natalie's mom is officially brainwashed:
Suzette: who sent you the cheese?
Me: our good friends from our blogs who live in Wisconsin.
Suzette: have you met them?
Me: not yet, but they’re coming to visit this summer and they have a 2 year old daughter…we can’t wait to meet them.
Suzette: awwww, how sweet. So how did they have their daughter?
Me: *lauuuuuughing* They’re straight people!
Natalie: heh,...
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What if Tim Tebow were Muslim? →
warrennotg:
How would our society react if during every interview, Tebow said “Insha’Allah” or “Allāhu Akbar” rather than thank his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ? Or instead of falling to one knee and praying, Tebow pulled out a prayer rug and faced Mecca?
THIS.
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To answer a few questions regarding Netlfix v....
No I can’t work at Netflix with my wife because:
a.) I REALLY don’t do well with computers and technology and such. I have a training/HR brain, not an IT brain
b.) all we would do is make out and sing songs all day
c.) we worked together once before…when I was married to my ex-husband…and then I got fired for doing the type of things boss’s shouldn’t...
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