That's not very ladylike.

1 month ago

Me: So, you guys know that Kayla’s girlfriend is famous right? That her girlfriend is Hannah Billie from the band Gossip.

Two Straight Chicks:

Me: Ok, that’s a hard one…hmmm, let’s see, you know the show The L Word, right?

Them: Oh yeah! We know that one!

Me: But not the “real” L word…the actual show The L Word.

Them:

Me:

Them: Oh God, we’re so straight right now aren’t we? Wait? Isn’t there a blonde girl in that show?

Me:

Them: Wait…keep trying…we can do this.

Me: Do you know who Sleater Kinney is?

Them: Is he on the radio?

Me:

Me: Oh Lord…ok, please say you know who Tegan and Sara are, right?

Them:

Me: OH M Y GOD YOU GUYS ARE SO STRAIGHT. I have to tell the internet.

Them: Please tell the internet. But really…what is Tegan and Sara? Should we google it? Is it on HBO, or Showtime?

Me:

*and then I walk away*

9 months ago

Audrey withdrawal is a real thing.

Side effects include:

*photo by Kel

2 years ago

Ned:

This is totally inappropriate, but I have a question...
Us:

Ooookkkkaaay.
Ned:

So what is the lesbian version of saying something like "I'm gona give that girl the dick." You know, like so you know how a guy sees a hot girl at a bar and he says "I'm gona give that girl the dick"...well what do lesbians say?
Me:

Like, "she needs some serious deep dickin" like that?
Nat:

"I'm going to cuddle the fuck out of you. No..."I'm going to talk the feelings out of your feelings."
Nat:

Lesbians don't talk like that. That's the whole point.
Me:

Yes we do...it's just different. Plus there are more than one way for lesbians to fuck, so it's different for us...less one dimensional.
Me:

Well, you've heard me talk about Ellen Page...
Ned:

Oh, you mean, "I'm gona google the fuck out of you"? Like that?
Me:

Yes, exactly.